Funny Definitions

 School: A place where Papa pays and Son plays. 




Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich. 


Nurse: A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills. 


Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters. 

Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower. 



Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either" 


Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. 


Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece. 


Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.


Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on. 


Father: A banker provided by nature.  
 

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early. 


Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after. 


Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills. 

Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read. 


Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. 

Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life. 

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth. 

Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.


Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together. 


Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.


Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions. 


Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be wise after death